again/because

For some of my older clients/followers, this blog entry might feel like a blast from the past.  I think that is sorta the point that I am trying to make to myself.  Back to basics.  I created this blog about 2 years ago as I started my journey to weight loss and getting fit.   It was a place that I could journal the good, the bad and the ugly of this whole process.   I could air my dirty laundry and show off my goodies as I saw fit.  So much had changed in that first year.  I had so many revelations and little wins that I wanted to share and keep at a click of a button.  As time passed, I noticed something.  As odd as it was, little ole me was inspiring others.  I had a following.  Weird.   At a certain point, it seemed natural that the blog take the shape of something new.   A Facebook Group?!?   I sort of stopped the daily heart to hearts with myself when I created the group.  It’s is not that I didn’t have anything to share, but sharing so conveniently sort of took the “stop and think” part out of the process.  There were a few blog entries here and there, but overall I sort of put it behind me.   Maybe it is time that I give it another shot.  I have a lot to say, and maybe a 3 sentence post on Facebook isn’t enough to get it all off my chest all of the time.  So here we are.

I have learned that any good plan is only as good as its plan B and plan C.   I had amazing success with working out with a personal trainer when I first started.  I sort of graduated from that at one point and started training along side of some of my local idols/peers.  I learned so much and really had some crazy good results.  As they came and went, I was left sort of alone.  I spent hundreds of hours in the gym working out but not as efficiently as I once did.  My passion needed to be fed.  From there, I started to personal train my own clients.  That kept me accountable when I didn't have some muscle bound hottie breathing down my neck.   Well, it did for a while.  Some time last year, I hit a plateau with my weight loss and fitness.  I joined the Fire Department and allowed that to take priority in my life for a while.  Perhaps it was exactly what I needed.  It was sort of like searching for something in your house and just deciding to stop looking and try again with fresh eyes tomorrow.  You just see it all from a different perspective.  In February of this year, I had graduated/passed my Firefighter 1 exam and Rescue Tech just as I had planned.  March and much of April, I found myself treading water.  

*Que Plan B*

So back to basics...    

• Start blogging again: Check! 
• Find myself some time in my own life to focus on my schedule:  Check!   This is probably half the battle right here.  I became incapable of using the word, "No".  I agreed to help everyone with everything anytime of day.  Today, with the help of Google Calendar, a very understanding boyfriend and a therapist...  I have actually worked out how to block out time in my own schedule.   It did help that I seemed to have all my clients go on vacation, honeymoon and have a knee injury all in the same 2 week span.  
• Find someone bigger and stronger then me to keep me in line:  Check!  My former Personal Trainer from back in the day had just became part owners at a crossfit box and had been bugging me to get in and give it a try.  A free week of watching Chris in lime green spanx?  Why not?!?
• A support group:  Double Check!  I have you, (Thank you.).   I found out that a friend of mine was also doing this CrossFit thing at the same place where Chris trains/Coaches.  Lindsay was willing to work around my schedule to help me feel out my first few sessions.  This chick=Awesome.
• Meal Plan:  Check(ish).  Okay, okay... I am about 90% Paleo. Cleaning out the cabinets and learning to adjust to convenience foods as my schedule changes kinda put a damper on jumping in 100%, but I am getting there.  I did learn to make Coconut Milk and Coconut flour on a shoestring budget and I couldn't be more excited.

So here I am, 3 weeks in.  I am certainly smiling a lot.  I must be doing something right. 

I took the leap after my 1 week free trail and signed up to become a regular member.  So far, I have made it every day that I have intended to.  A lot of it is because I am enjoying the feel in the box, but also because of the results that I see already.  I have no clue anymore what I have gained or lost on the scale, I have seen a 10lb fluctuation as my body has settled in.  My pants are super tight now.  My fat pants are snug around the booty and it is quite ridiculous since my thighs are notably leaner and more solid.  lol.   One word... SQUATS!  I don't exactly hate it but I am not loving it either.  I would love to wear a pair of pants that actually fit one day.  Oh!!!  I am running.  Not fast.  Please don't assume that means that I enjoy it either.  I just AM running more regularly. That is a feat in itself.  My confidence level seems to be creeping back up also.  First of all, it is very rough on the ego to walk into your own old trainers gym and ask for help.    Secondly, starting off, I was a little unsure of where I fell with the group.  I got used to being the strong girl at my gym.  Not so much at this or any CrossFit box.  But the cool thing is, no one cares.  What seems to really matter is that I am motivated to get up, every day and do what I need to do. Yet again, proving that we all need to stay honest with ourselves. If we need to be pushed, find your motivation and use it.  I tell my own clients that.  I am not sure why it was so hard to hear myself.   Will this last?  I don't know yet.  Am I giving it 100% every day that I walk into the gym?  YES.  All I can do is take it one day at a time and enjoy the process.  I am learning to love this so called process again.  It has been a long time since I have seen these sorts of changes in myself.