Friday, April 19, 2013
It's not the pounds that matter
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Too legit to quit.
Never in a million years
A year ago, if you would have told me that I would be where I am today, I would have laughed. I know that I keep saying that but I also keep suprising myself. It's one thing when you don't know what to expect from other people. It's a whole different thing when you realize that you don't even know what to expect from yourself.
Thursday night, I was in full Fire Fighting gear, the only female, the oldest in my class, standing on top of a fire truck folding a hose. At one point, I stood up, looked around at the front of the station and looking at the town of Bel Air from the top of the truck. Never in a million years did I ever expect to be standing in that place. A year ago, the station was just a pretty land mark when giving directions. Now, its work. It's "The House". It is where dreams are made and lives are saved. I have no idea where this path will lead me. I didn't know that my path was going in this direction to begin with. I am starting to think that there are no more ends. No more destinations, just rest stops and exits. Standing on top of that truck, I knew right then and there that nothing is impossible. I can and will do everything that I put my mind to.
Thursday night, I was in full Fire Fighting gear, the only female, the oldest in my class, standing on top of a fire truck folding a hose. At one point, I stood up, looked around at the front of the station and looking at the town of Bel Air from the top of the truck. Never in a million years did I ever expect to be standing in that place. A year ago, the station was just a pretty land mark when giving directions. Now, its work. It's "The House". It is where dreams are made and lives are saved. I have no idea where this path will lead me. I didn't know that my path was going in this direction to begin with. I am starting to think that there are no more ends. No more destinations, just rest stops and exits. Standing on top of that truck, I knew right then and there that nothing is impossible. I can and will do everything that I put my mind to.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Let there be light
This blog post feels like I am going back, "old school". Back to fat instead of muscle.
I hate to beat a dead horse, but I keep telling you to take progress photos. You just never know what you will see. Some/most victories have nothing to do with the scale.
I've become fairly shameless about putting my goodies out on display for progress photos. Some times, I take 20-30 photos to find the one that I want to post. So when you look at them and say to yourself, "Is that the best she could do?". It sure was. Haha. So tonight, I came skipping home to open my Flag nor Fail order. I wasn't taking the photos as "progress" shots, just good old fashioned photos of my new stuff. Anyway... later on, as I was going through to delete them, I noticed something. Something very interesting and new. Light. Light between my thighs. All this time, I have been distracted and preoccupied by my muscles and strength, I let the trimming down completely slip me by. I mean, I have good days and fat days, but apparently I had more good then bad. There used to be no space between those badboys until it got to my knee caps. Now, my thighs are noticeably more lean. The other thing I noticed was that without really thinking about it, I voluntarily snapped a photo of the writting across my butt. Not just showing my butt, I paid money to have it excentuated. When did that become a thing? That's certainly new. Crazy!
Well, all I can say is keep snapping those shots. You just never one what will strike you.
Friday, February 15, 2013
All fired up.
Most of you probably hope for that extra hour in your day to accomplish things. I won't lie, extra time in my day freaks me out. People always ask if I ever relax. Sure, I relax in the gym, in the car going to the gym, browsing aimlessly in Wegmans and that 5 minutes between my head hitting the pillow and being totally zonked out. I spent 13 years of my life relaxing and all it got me was a body that is almost irreparable. As far as I have come, if I have an extra hour in my day, I still end up on the couch and concocting snacks from my pantry between commercials. That was the primary reason for me getting rid of cable and internet in my house. I am honest with myself, I know what my triggers are.
This April, my office will be shifting our work hours from shifts to a straight 9-5. That means that I will have an extra 2 hours of my evening to fill. I am so excited for the opportunity to use that time doing things that are more conducive to my goals and lifestyle. As much as I love the gym, my therapist has demanded that I spend some of that time outside of the gym. Most of you would agree with her. Of course that does not include my time spent personal training. I absolutely love personal training. I don't think anyone could convince me to pry myself away from that time. So with this extra time and the push to find a new something to occupy my time, it only makes sense that I make the most out of it. What to do? What to do? I could volunteer. I could learn a new trade. I could challenge myself. I could dig deep and try something that I always wanted to do as a child. With all of that in mind, I came down to two choices. An Armed Forces Reservist or a Volunteer Fire Fighter. Sounds like two reasonable choices to me.
At Anytime Fitness, we have a large number of Fire Fighters as members. I think that is why it was siting in the forefront of my mind. I see several on a daily basis. One of which is, Chad. Chad is a fellow trainer that has been working out with me here and there. During one particular workout, out of the blue, he said that I would make a great Fire Fighter. Had he just read my mind? Immediately, he had caught my attention. My little ears had perked up and I was waiting to hear more. Of course, I wanted to hear more about how awesome I lifted, but mostly I just wanted to be convinced. Perhaps just the illusion of some convincing would suffice. I asked a few questions and let him do the talking. 12 hours later, my application had been submitted and the ball was rolling. It was just as easy as that. Too bad that is probably the end of the easy parts of this process.
Last night, I went to the station for my interview. I was greeted by some very kind folks at the station. The whole process was just awesome. I went from nervous to giddy and back to nervous again. I even sat in the parking lot afterwards and took a photo of the building for a future scrap booking moment. Lame, I know. Hush! I could not believe what I was getting myself into. Who had I become? If you had asked me 2 years ago if I ever thought that I would be seriously considering being a fire fighter, I would have asked if you had meant for Halloween. Even then, the answer would have been a big fat, "no".
So, there ya have it. Momma is trying something new, yet again. Another challenge chalked up and ready to be faced. I can't help but think who or what I could have been had I made fitness a priority 13 years ago.
This April, my office will be shifting our work hours from shifts to a straight 9-5. That means that I will have an extra 2 hours of my evening to fill. I am so excited for the opportunity to use that time doing things that are more conducive to my goals and lifestyle. As much as I love the gym, my therapist has demanded that I spend some of that time outside of the gym. Most of you would agree with her. Of course that does not include my time spent personal training. I absolutely love personal training. I don't think anyone could convince me to pry myself away from that time. So with this extra time and the push to find a new something to occupy my time, it only makes sense that I make the most out of it. What to do? What to do? I could volunteer. I could learn a new trade. I could challenge myself. I could dig deep and try something that I always wanted to do as a child. With all of that in mind, I came down to two choices. An Armed Forces Reservist or a Volunteer Fire Fighter. Sounds like two reasonable choices to me.
At Anytime Fitness, we have a large number of Fire Fighters as members. I think that is why it was siting in the forefront of my mind. I see several on a daily basis. One of which is, Chad. Chad is a fellow trainer that has been working out with me here and there. During one particular workout, out of the blue, he said that I would make a great Fire Fighter. Had he just read my mind? Immediately, he had caught my attention. My little ears had perked up and I was waiting to hear more. Of course, I wanted to hear more about how awesome I lifted, but mostly I just wanted to be convinced. Perhaps just the illusion of some convincing would suffice. I asked a few questions and let him do the talking. 12 hours later, my application had been submitted and the ball was rolling. It was just as easy as that. Too bad that is probably the end of the easy parts of this process.
Last night, I went to the station for my interview. I was greeted by some very kind folks at the station. The whole process was just awesome. I went from nervous to giddy and back to nervous again. I even sat in the parking lot afterwards and took a photo of the building for a future scrap booking moment. Lame, I know. Hush! I could not believe what I was getting myself into. Who had I become? If you had asked me 2 years ago if I ever thought that I would be seriously considering being a fire fighter, I would have asked if you had meant for Halloween. Even then, the answer would have been a big fat, "no".
So, there ya have it. Momma is trying something new, yet again. Another challenge chalked up and ready to be faced. I can't help but think who or what I could have been had I made fitness a priority 13 years ago.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Deadlift this...
A new blog is way over due. You've gotta know that if something happened to make me get into work early just so I could blog, it must have been big.
So, this journey is one of about a years worth of consistent notable progress. There have been many highs and lows. The one thing that I have had to face in every stage is how others viewed me. Not how they legitimately viewed me, how their insecurities made them see me. (See, all that therapy is finally paying off.). I don't need to sit here and cover all of that. If you have read any of the blog posts from the past or if you have embarked on this journey yourself, you know what I mean.
Earlier this week, a friend of mine, Alicia, said something that struck me. Here this woman is, my hero, beautiful, strong and secure. Her physique, is my "end game". Alicia mentioned to me that in her next competition, she looks to prove all of those people wrong who say that she is too big. Even Alicia, as far as she has gone, still has to endure other peoples negative judgement. I was hoping that once I got where she is now, I would be done. Finished having to prove anything to myself and having to prove anything to anyone else. I have watched her transformation and it has inspired me to not just lose weight but to put my efforts to the ultimate test. What got me was her determination and strength to turn that into fuel to push harder. This woman does not give up! That in itself is a reason for me to look up to her. Does it ever seem like our friends never criticized us for being fat? I didn't have anyone stop me when I was damaging my body beyond repair. Why is it that when we are doing the most good for our body, we get the harshest back lash?
All of this has been sitting in the back of my mind all week. So maybe I was a little extra sensitive last night. Maybe this guy was just being an ass. Either way, Momma was rubbed wrong and is not a happy camper.
Last night, my guy friend waited for me to do the CrossFit workout of the day. I have been really getting into the CrossFit lately. The structure, the challenge, the comradere. The whole package. Some of the workouts have made me laugh, others have made me bleed and I bet everything in between. I love it. I miss the "bodybuilding" type workouts that I used to do, but some of the WOD's still let me unleash the beast. Last nights workout was 5x3 deadlifts. With just 3 reps per set, it is assumed that you are going pretty darn heavy. We had a very similar workout last week when I worked out with Donny and my brother also. Last week, Donny pushed me beyond anything I ever imagined. My last set was 225 pounds. He knew what I was capable of and was not accepting anything less. When I read the workout last night, I plotted my plan of attack. I assumed I would start off about about 185 pounds and go from there. I figured, ehhh... it's not my max but it is certainly not wuss weight either. Sounded like a plan. A guy working out near us, looked over at the weight that I was about to pick up. In this order, I got a bug-eyed look, then a snuff, a condescending laugh and he topped it off with telling me that I was starting way too heavy. Had he just been concerned about the weight and my safety, I would have been perfectly fine and actually appreciative. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Well, if you know me at all, you know that regardless, I would have stopped at nothing to prove that guy wrong. It was only 3 reps. I had it! Next turn up, I went up another 10 pounds. Again, I got the same response, this time, he questioned if I really planned on going up higher then the original 185 pounds. Well, duh! If it was him working out in the second of five sets, I wouldn't question his intentions of going up in weight. Why wasn't I treated the same way? Set number three, I knew my limitations. I am hardheaded, but not stupid. I stuck with 205 and I swear I saw a look of satisfaction. Ohhh... It was on then! Momma swapped out the 35 pounders for the big dogs. I cleared 225 pounds for my last two sets. The last rep of the 5th set was a bit difficult, but I did it. As if all of that was not enough to prove the point that I was serious and knew what I was doing, he had to go one step further. Instead of praise or any congratulatory remark, he snuffed one last time and said, "There is no reason for you to be lifting that heavy.". Really?!?!?! Had this man not been a regular and a friend, (back when I was lifting like a teddy bear.), I would have knocked him on his ass. Well, probably not, but I wanted to. Does anyone ever go up to a guy and say that? How is it okay that he has a "reason" for lifting heavy but I don't? On top of that, why the hell would you risk pissing off a woman that can lift your ass? Let's not even forget that she is a 3rd degree blackbelt. That is just dumb.
Why is it that I have workout partners that are men and are completely supportive of my efforts but then I have men that are on the opposite sides of the spectrum? I totally get that some men do not appreciate or are intimidated by a strong woman and their physique. I understand that, but to each their own. I wish they could look beyond my boobs and recognizing that I am putting in as much effort as they are. Once I cross the line into the free weight area, I am no longer a girl. I am an athlete. (tee hee hee, I just called myself an athlete.). If you don't like that, don't work out with me. If you can't understand it, don't bother. If it makes you insecure because I am lifting reps of your 1 rep max... that's something for you to deal with. I put in the work. Fair and square!
Bottom line... Women and Men are both beautiful creatures. Each of us are capable of things that both intrigue and scare others. Those same things are what makes us different and what inspires and encourages others. All of us are in the gym for one primary reason, to look and feel better then we did yesterday. There is no place on the gym floor for judgment. Once you cross that threshold, you are all one collective group of people working towards the same goal. Lastly, don't piss off a girl that believes that she is capable of doing anything she puts her mind to.
So, this journey is one of about a years worth of consistent notable progress. There have been many highs and lows. The one thing that I have had to face in every stage is how others viewed me. Not how they legitimately viewed me, how their insecurities made them see me. (See, all that therapy is finally paying off.). I don't need to sit here and cover all of that. If you have read any of the blog posts from the past or if you have embarked on this journey yourself, you know what I mean.
Earlier this week, a friend of mine, Alicia, said something that struck me. Here this woman is, my hero, beautiful, strong and secure. Her physique, is my "end game". Alicia mentioned to me that in her next competition, she looks to prove all of those people wrong who say that she is too big. Even Alicia, as far as she has gone, still has to endure other peoples negative judgement. I was hoping that once I got where she is now, I would be done. Finished having to prove anything to myself and having to prove anything to anyone else. I have watched her transformation and it has inspired me to not just lose weight but to put my efforts to the ultimate test. What got me was her determination and strength to turn that into fuel to push harder. This woman does not give up! That in itself is a reason for me to look up to her. Does it ever seem like our friends never criticized us for being fat? I didn't have anyone stop me when I was damaging my body beyond repair. Why is it that when we are doing the most good for our body, we get the harshest back lash?
All of this has been sitting in the back of my mind all week. So maybe I was a little extra sensitive last night. Maybe this guy was just being an ass. Either way, Momma was rubbed wrong and is not a happy camper.
Last night, my guy friend waited for me to do the CrossFit workout of the day. I have been really getting into the CrossFit lately. The structure, the challenge, the comradere. The whole package. Some of the workouts have made me laugh, others have made me bleed and I bet everything in between. I love it. I miss the "bodybuilding" type workouts that I used to do, but some of the WOD's still let me unleash the beast. Last nights workout was 5x3 deadlifts. With just 3 reps per set, it is assumed that you are going pretty darn heavy. We had a very similar workout last week when I worked out with Donny and my brother also. Last week, Donny pushed me beyond anything I ever imagined. My last set was 225 pounds. He knew what I was capable of and was not accepting anything less. When I read the workout last night, I plotted my plan of attack. I assumed I would start off about about 185 pounds and go from there. I figured, ehhh... it's not my max but it is certainly not wuss weight either. Sounded like a plan. A guy working out near us, looked over at the weight that I was about to pick up. In this order, I got a bug-eyed look, then a snuff, a condescending laugh and he topped it off with telling me that I was starting way too heavy. Had he just been concerned about the weight and my safety, I would have been perfectly fine and actually appreciative. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Well, if you know me at all, you know that regardless, I would have stopped at nothing to prove that guy wrong. It was only 3 reps. I had it! Next turn up, I went up another 10 pounds. Again, I got the same response, this time, he questioned if I really planned on going up higher then the original 185 pounds. Well, duh! If it was him working out in the second of five sets, I wouldn't question his intentions of going up in weight. Why wasn't I treated the same way? Set number three, I knew my limitations. I am hardheaded, but not stupid. I stuck with 205 and I swear I saw a look of satisfaction. Ohhh... It was on then! Momma swapped out the 35 pounders for the big dogs. I cleared 225 pounds for my last two sets. The last rep of the 5th set was a bit difficult, but I did it. As if all of that was not enough to prove the point that I was serious and knew what I was doing, he had to go one step further. Instead of praise or any congratulatory remark, he snuffed one last time and said, "There is no reason for you to be lifting that heavy.". Really?!?!?! Had this man not been a regular and a friend, (back when I was lifting like a teddy bear.), I would have knocked him on his ass. Well, probably not, but I wanted to. Does anyone ever go up to a guy and say that? How is it okay that he has a "reason" for lifting heavy but I don't? On top of that, why the hell would you risk pissing off a woman that can lift your ass? Let's not even forget that she is a 3rd degree blackbelt. That is just dumb.
Why is it that I have workout partners that are men and are completely supportive of my efforts but then I have men that are on the opposite sides of the spectrum? I totally get that some men do not appreciate or are intimidated by a strong woman and their physique. I understand that, but to each their own. I wish they could look beyond my boobs and recognizing that I am putting in as much effort as they are. Once I cross the line into the free weight area, I am no longer a girl. I am an athlete. (tee hee hee, I just called myself an athlete.). If you don't like that, don't work out with me. If you can't understand it, don't bother. If it makes you insecure because I am lifting reps of your 1 rep max... that's something for you to deal with. I put in the work. Fair and square!
Bottom line... Women and Men are both beautiful creatures. Each of us are capable of things that both intrigue and scare others. Those same things are what makes us different and what inspires and encourages others. All of us are in the gym for one primary reason, to look and feel better then we did yesterday. There is no place on the gym floor for judgment. Once you cross that threshold, you are all one collective group of people working towards the same goal. Lastly, don't piss off a girl that believes that she is capable of doing anything she puts her mind to.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Have it - Crave it
I am a genius!!!
This last week, I have just not been able to get my hand out of the candy jar. After months, why now? Why all of the sudden, can I not break this habit? Uhhhh.... The last time that this happened to me, I got on a chocolate protein bar kick. I could not eat one more serving of grilled chicken breast so I replaced one meal with the bar. Before long, I wanted chocolate all the time. I just craved it. It got to the point where I was eating any brown substance that came in a wrapper. I didn't care what flavor, brand or type it was. If it had cocoa in it, it was headed to my belly. So the only way I could kick the habit was to pretty much detox from it all together. Until you start eating clean, you do not recognize what foods do to your body. When I don't have sugar, I don't crave sugar. After a cheat day where I have some, the next 3 days is so darn hard to get back on track. Fast forward to last night. Six, that's the number of pieces of chocolate I had yesterday afternoon at work. After the past week, six is a slow day. Something was going on. Something had to change. I sat down and gave it some thought. What was different? What had I changed in my plan that is any different from the last few months? My protein shake! Depending on my meal schedule and workout schedule, I supplement my protein with a shake at least once a day. Right before Christmas, the Vitamin Shoppe had run out of Fruit Punch so I just grabbed Chocolate. How bad could that be? HA!!!!!!!!!! Well, that little switch up from Fruit Punch to Chocolate might have been more detrimental then I originally thought. Just to test my theory, on the way home from the gym I popped into my local Vitamin Shoppe and grabbed my trusty powder of fruity wonder. At home, I made my post workout shake like normal. No magic happened. This morning, I packed a shake as one of my replacement meals and went along my workday sipping it. As normal. That's where the magic started to spark. I noticed that as I was walking around the office all morning, I had not made one trip to the candy jar. It's now 1p.m. and I have not even been tempted. Am I on to something? I think that I might be.
I have learned so much about the inner workings of my mind and body. It is amazing what your body will tell you when you stop to listen to it. By eating clean, it has allowed me to feel what goes on in my body and I can actually isolate different reactions and note them. Interesting.
Lesson learned? I think so.
This last week, I have just not been able to get my hand out of the candy jar. After months, why now? Why all of the sudden, can I not break this habit? Uhhhh.... The last time that this happened to me, I got on a chocolate protein bar kick. I could not eat one more serving of grilled chicken breast so I replaced one meal with the bar. Before long, I wanted chocolate all the time. I just craved it. It got to the point where I was eating any brown substance that came in a wrapper. I didn't care what flavor, brand or type it was. If it had cocoa in it, it was headed to my belly. So the only way I could kick the habit was to pretty much detox from it all together. Until you start eating clean, you do not recognize what foods do to your body. When I don't have sugar, I don't crave sugar. After a cheat day where I have some, the next 3 days is so darn hard to get back on track. Fast forward to last night. Six, that's the number of pieces of chocolate I had yesterday afternoon at work. After the past week, six is a slow day. Something was going on. Something had to change. I sat down and gave it some thought. What was different? What had I changed in my plan that is any different from the last few months? My protein shake! Depending on my meal schedule and workout schedule, I supplement my protein with a shake at least once a day. Right before Christmas, the Vitamin Shoppe had run out of Fruit Punch so I just grabbed Chocolate. How bad could that be? HA!!!!!!!!!! Well, that little switch up from Fruit Punch to Chocolate might have been more detrimental then I originally thought. Just to test my theory, on the way home from the gym I popped into my local Vitamin Shoppe and grabbed my trusty powder of fruity wonder. At home, I made my post workout shake like normal. No magic happened. This morning, I packed a shake as one of my replacement meals and went along my workday sipping it. As normal. That's where the magic started to spark. I noticed that as I was walking around the office all morning, I had not made one trip to the candy jar. It's now 1p.m. and I have not even been tempted. Am I on to something? I think that I might be.
I have learned so much about the inner workings of my mind and body. It is amazing what your body will tell you when you stop to listen to it. By eating clean, it has allowed me to feel what goes on in my body and I can actually isolate different reactions and note them. Interesting.
Lesson learned? I think so.
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