Goal... not so much

A few days have passed and I think you safely assumed that me not boasting about meeting my goal only met one thing... I didn't.

The big day was supposed to have been Saturday.  This goal was set back in April so it had been a long time coming.  I have made great progress since April when I originally set my goal.  (If it sounds coached, its because it is.  I am forcing myself to believe this as I type it.)  I have lost a bit over 20lbs and probably have put on about 10-15lbs of muscle.  I went from a size 18 to as size 10.  I went from struggling to get into a routine to not knowing what to do myself when I couldn't get to the gym.  Since then, a lot has happened.  It's called life.  I guess that I had better get used to it.  I can't make too many excuses.

Since I can't make too many excuses, that implies that I can make a few.  Right?  Okay, here it goes.  Tuesday, I was on track at 162ish.  I risked going to the Melting Pot for dinner.  Best idea, not so much.  I had a fantastic time and I enjoyed every bit of it.  I didn't pull any punches at dinner.  I allowed myself to enjoy it without feeling guilty.  That long evening also meant that I skipped a workout at the gym.  Double whammy.  Wednesday, I was only up a pound so I think I got a little bit cocky thinking that I had this one in the bag.  Thursday, I weighed in at 162.  At night, before I went to bed I gave it another shot.  I weighed in at 163.  Considering that we usually gain a few during the course of the day, I thought that it was smooth sailing ahead.  I skipped weighing in on Friday morning because I was pretty confident that I was on track.  I had been eating well, (recently).  I had put in a few extra workouts and nearly killed myself doing the CrossFit W.O.D..  Friday night, just double checking... I weighed myself in at 166.  WHAT THE HELL!?!?!  Where did all of that come from?  I was not particularly feeling "skinny" but hey... who knows.  Most of all of that is mental anyway.  I was annoyed, I was upset and frustrated.  So what did I do? I went out drinking.  I met up with Brent and Chris to have a few drinks.  In an attempt to not fall too far off the wagon, I watched what I drank and justified eating WaWa meatballs in a cup at 2 a.m..  I was due for a meal, I wanted to go high protein and low-carb.  Good effort considering how impaired my judgment was at that point in the evening.  I stayed at a friends house, (judgement was not impaired enough to drink and drive.)  In the morning, before I headed back home, I had a huge cup of coffee.  I told myself that since I generally weigh in naked and empty, this was an excuse that I should skip weigh in.  Ha!  I thought that I was being rudly reminded of the activities of the night before when I felt my tummy grumble but it turns out it was not.  Another month,  my "cycle" decides to do what ever the hell it wants.  My doctor thinks it is due to the weight loss and my workout routine but either way, it still throws a wrench in my day.  I think that it makes a bit more sense why I was not feeling particularly skinny the day before, why I had the munchies all week and why I was so emotional about not coming close enough to this goal.  Damn you P.M.S.!  Had I knew all of that was ahead of me,  I am sure my choices all the way around would have been different.  Unfortunately, that damage was done.  I didn't officially weigh in at all.

My inner self and I sat down and had a heart to heart.  It was probably more of a lecture but either way, it resulted in a plan B.  A segway.  Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, I am starting to contemplate a plan C.  Yesterday, I didn't make the best food choices.  I guess it was a rationalization along the lines of, "I am already on a roll screwing up, I might as well get it out of my system.".  Today, stuck indoors, I have kind of pulled my inner goddess in by her hair and told her to get her shit together.  So far, I had an okay breakfast, a greek yogurt for meal 2 and a turkey sandwich for meal 3.  The one thing I can easily control is having my meals on time. That is a step in the right direction.  I suggested frozen Chinese food for dinner and Brent politely said, "Yea, that's fine for me.  I am sure we can find something healthier for you.".. Good job.  He is threatening me as we speak to cut me off.  Lock me in my condo and only see me in the gym to workout.  Punk.  But... it's is appreciated more then he can imagine.