This weekend, I have struggled with what to write as my next blog entry. I wanted to of course make it worth reading (and writing) but all the while I wanted it to have something we could take away from it. Nothing major or noteworthy has happened in my "journey" this weekend but maybe that's just it... being able to reflect on where I have been and where I am going. Taking the time out to reevaluate where I am right now.
This weekend I hit a major fall on the scale. I briefly saw the little red needle settle on 171. That puts me at an 87lb loss to date. Yeah Man!!! I did not get around to doing my measurements but I did take my progress photos. I didn't see in the photos the loss that I was hoping for but I did see it on the scale. Pardon my emoticons but >:( w.t.f.? My clothes are fitting looser then last week so I understand that the changes are there-somewhere.
Here I am a few weeks past the Warrior Dash and just a week and a half to the Rebel Race. I am coming along well with strength and endurance. I can really feel the difference. I spent most of this weekend up and down steps and it really did not physically take that much of a toll on my body. Awesome, simply awesome.
I am stuck in a bit of a lull where my upper body has decided to meet my goal and my lower body has taken a vacation. I am extra... ummm... lumpy and jiggly this week in my legs and thighs but Xavy assures me that it is simply the fat begging to break up. He better be right or he is going to get hurt for calling my fat, fat. haha. Nobody calls my fat, fat, but me! (I am not sure how to grammatically build that sentence.)
I covered tangible changes, physical changes, metabolic changes and last but not least... emotional changes. Emotional changes have been interesting to say the least. Apparently last week I was P.M.S.'ing, we all know how that goes! The last few months my cycle has been a bit in the air, I assume because of my drastic drop in body fat. Maybe, maybe not... but that makes me feel good so lets roll with it. I suppose with that being said, it is reasonable that I went up, down, jiggled, toned, got a pep in my step when walking in front of a mirror and then cried. haha. Again, we all know how this goes. P.M.S. may be to blame for my emotional instability but I cant use that excuse for anyone else.
Yesterday, I had a brief conversation with my mom about my weight loss goals. It did not go exactly as I would have hoped. In fact, it did not go how she had hoped either. Some how, some where, she has let herself be concerned that I am getting too skinny. She fears my goal weight is "unhealthy". Kind of a catch 22, huh? A part of me wanted to jump up and down that my mom was saying I was doing well reaching my goals. The other part of me wanted to scream. What I need is support, not judgement. A year ago her response was the exact opposite. I can only imagine that having seen me fat for 13-14 years, it looks odd now that I have slimmed down to simply "overweight". (According to my BMI.) I feel terrible for even putting this out there like I am now. I do not ever intend to paint anyone in a negative light but I am trying to stay honest with my real ups and downs on here. In an effort to defend my new found muscles, I told my mom about the competition. She sounded as if it was news to her so chances are, she will not read this part. *knock on wood*. Actually maybe it would be good if she did. This blog is my way of expression. I need to put it on here for me. For you. Oh' mom!!!! lol
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