I am a girl. I am motivated by several things. One of which is the impending attention from onlookers. If you say that you are not, you are just kidding yourself. We are human, its what we do.
I joined my gym about a year and a half ago. I was in a relationship-ish sorta thing that was all wrong for my future, but perfect at the moment. I was dating a guy that was long distance and emotionally unavailable. Part of the "all wrong" part was because I had settled for what I could get. He was a good guy but not the pick of the litter. I was not physically and emotionally in a position to walk up to a hot guy and hit on him. That's not to say that I took anything that came along, it just means that a part of me choose the best of the worst and tried to make it work. Regardless of the how's or why's, I was in this relationship. As merky as it was, it worked. That allowed me to feel the partnership when I needed it but the time and energy to focus on myself. Hundreds of people flow in and out of the gyms that I go to, and each one of them grab your attention for a different reason. I was comfortably certain that I was the "big girl with the pretty face". Xavy and I even had a little joke going on because that seemed to be the description that everyone gave me. Pretty face, butter body. lol. I have a big personality so I knew that people knew who I was, but beyond my name and a passing nod, I was invisible. These days, I walk into my gym and by 8 feet in, I've acknowledged the attention of 5 people. It has nothing to do with the amount of time I am in there or how long I have been a member. It has everything to do with the confidence that my weight loss has given me, the size of my ass, and how many pushups I can do. People say that they don't judge by what is on the outside but that is not true at all.
I have had a guy at my gym ask for my number a year ago but never call. I suppose I was on an emergency booty call list somewhere. 40 lbs later and a new haircut, he introduced himself to me and asked for my number, again. He had no clue that I was the same person. This time he did call. Over and over again. Long story short, 1 date, I was annoyed and that was that. The point is, I was the same girl. How he looked at me was different. There's no secret that we have some hotties in my gym. By hotties, I am not saying they are people I am interested in, just people that you walk past and for one reason or another say, "Damn!". A year ago, none of them really talked to me. They were all very polite but none of them took the time to be my "friend". Today, I'd say that the top 5 hotties, (men and women), are within the last 10 contacts of text messages received in my phone. I have wiggled my size 10 ass into that category. Into that group of people.
Today, I am single. It took me quite a bit of time to see how my weight loss has effected how others relate to me. In the beginning, I was naive. I thought that all of the sudden I had all of these new guy friends because they respected me in the gym. In part, that was right. The other part was that I had physically put myself on a level where they could respectably flirt with me. Respectably in front of their friends that is. Initially, I was a bit overwhelmed and needed to learn that I could and needed to pick and choose. It's only been a few months of that but still, I think I've got that one under my belt. Where I am now, I have met/remet a great guy and workout buddy, Brent. He is one of those hotties at the gym, and a real friend of mine. Someone that I walked passed every day but never thought, I, Lori, had a chance in hell of getting a second look from. There was a certain point where I blew him off all together because there was no point in bothering to get to know him. Today, we workout together and hangout together and I have gotten to learn a lot about myself through him. He seems to 'get' where I am coming from on all fronts. He has no illusions. He understands that the whole process for me is a bit tumultuous. In turn, my future relationships may feel the grunt of that. He was really the one that brought all of this to light. He said something last night that kinda threw me for a loop. He could foresee me in my future wanting to explore all of my new options. The hot guys, the ripped, young and popular guys. Entertain relationships of sorts that were once unfeasible. I politely reminded him that he is one of those guys. (Physically). Don't I know how to shmooze? lol . He and his friends were once a few of the ones that I thought I could never get within 20 feet of. I wasn't pretty enough. We have a connection that goes a bit beyond physical but the fact that he looks like a catalog model doesn't hurt one bit. Who wouldn't wanna workout with a nice piece of eye candy. I never imagined that I was in a place (physically) where the guy on the other side of this conversation could objectively see all of this play out and assume that as soon as the next muscle bound guy that can do more pull-ups walks by, he is the one on the bench. Wow. Just wow. Talk about coming full circle. To talk this out with a guy is very interesting. My girlfriends and I talk about this stuff all of the time but to hear a man's perspective is very interesting.
Not only have I been absorbed into a different circle of friends, I have opened up a new door of dating prospects. It is interesting to be on the other side. I see things differently now. I have to admit, I find myself looking at others that are overweight and thinking, "Why?". If they don't seem to be interested in bettering themselves, then they are (in my head) not a strong person. They are not in control of themselves, not disciplined and not reaching higher. Those traits are the exact opposite of what I need in my life. So maybe, just maybe.... Those people were not looking down on me because I was fat. Maybe they were dismissing me because I was potentially toxic to their personal journeys. Something to think about.
I joined my gym about a year and a half ago. I was in a relationship-ish sorta thing that was all wrong for my future, but perfect at the moment. I was dating a guy that was long distance and emotionally unavailable. Part of the "all wrong" part was because I had settled for what I could get. He was a good guy but not the pick of the litter. I was not physically and emotionally in a position to walk up to a hot guy and hit on him. That's not to say that I took anything that came along, it just means that a part of me choose the best of the worst and tried to make it work. Regardless of the how's or why's, I was in this relationship. As merky as it was, it worked. That allowed me to feel the partnership when I needed it but the time and energy to focus on myself. Hundreds of people flow in and out of the gyms that I go to, and each one of them grab your attention for a different reason. I was comfortably certain that I was the "big girl with the pretty face". Xavy and I even had a little joke going on because that seemed to be the description that everyone gave me. Pretty face, butter body. lol. I have a big personality so I knew that people knew who I was, but beyond my name and a passing nod, I was invisible. These days, I walk into my gym and by 8 feet in, I've acknowledged the attention of 5 people. It has nothing to do with the amount of time I am in there or how long I have been a member. It has everything to do with the confidence that my weight loss has given me, the size of my ass, and how many pushups I can do. People say that they don't judge by what is on the outside but that is not true at all.
I have had a guy at my gym ask for my number a year ago but never call. I suppose I was on an emergency booty call list somewhere. 40 lbs later and a new haircut, he introduced himself to me and asked for my number, again. He had no clue that I was the same person. This time he did call. Over and over again. Long story short, 1 date, I was annoyed and that was that. The point is, I was the same girl. How he looked at me was different. There's no secret that we have some hotties in my gym. By hotties, I am not saying they are people I am interested in, just people that you walk past and for one reason or another say, "Damn!". A year ago, none of them really talked to me. They were all very polite but none of them took the time to be my "friend". Today, I'd say that the top 5 hotties, (men and women), are within the last 10 contacts of text messages received in my phone. I have wiggled my size 10 ass into that category. Into that group of people.
Today, I am single. It took me quite a bit of time to see how my weight loss has effected how others relate to me. In the beginning, I was naive. I thought that all of the sudden I had all of these new guy friends because they respected me in the gym. In part, that was right. The other part was that I had physically put myself on a level where they could respectably flirt with me. Respectably in front of their friends that is. Initially, I was a bit overwhelmed and needed to learn that I could and needed to pick and choose. It's only been a few months of that but still, I think I've got that one under my belt. Where I am now, I have met/remet a great guy and workout buddy, Brent. He is one of those hotties at the gym, and a real friend of mine. Someone that I walked passed every day but never thought, I, Lori, had a chance in hell of getting a second look from. There was a certain point where I blew him off all together because there was no point in bothering to get to know him. Today, we workout together and hangout together and I have gotten to learn a lot about myself through him. He seems to 'get' where I am coming from on all fronts. He has no illusions. He understands that the whole process for me is a bit tumultuous. In turn, my future relationships may feel the grunt of that. He was really the one that brought all of this to light. He said something last night that kinda threw me for a loop. He could foresee me in my future wanting to explore all of my new options. The hot guys, the ripped, young and popular guys. Entertain relationships of sorts that were once unfeasible. I politely reminded him that he is one of those guys. (Physically). Don't I know how to shmooze? lol . He and his friends were once a few of the ones that I thought I could never get within 20 feet of. I wasn't pretty enough. We have a connection that goes a bit beyond physical but the fact that he looks like a catalog model doesn't hurt one bit. Who wouldn't wanna workout with a nice piece of eye candy. I never imagined that I was in a place (physically) where the guy on the other side of this conversation could objectively see all of this play out and assume that as soon as the next muscle bound guy that can do more pull-ups walks by, he is the one on the bench. Wow. Just wow. Talk about coming full circle. To talk this out with a guy is very interesting. My girlfriends and I talk about this stuff all of the time but to hear a man's perspective is very interesting.
Not only have I been absorbed into a different circle of friends, I have opened up a new door of dating prospects. It is interesting to be on the other side. I see things differently now. I have to admit, I find myself looking at others that are overweight and thinking, "Why?". If they don't seem to be interested in bettering themselves, then they are (in my head) not a strong person. They are not in control of themselves, not disciplined and not reaching higher. Those traits are the exact opposite of what I need in my life. So maybe, just maybe.... Those people were not looking down on me because I was fat. Maybe they were dismissing me because I was potentially toxic to their personal journeys. Something to think about.
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